Thursday, August 31, 2006

Opposing Counsel

Apparently I must be doing a good job at my toilet firm because the partner swaggers into my office, plops down in front of my crumbly, falling-apart desk thats been here since 1826, and says:

"Batman! I have great news!"

"Yes, Mr Partner, what abuse will you dole out on me now?"

"I'm giving you the __ case! I just drafted our last discovery request and need you to pick this file from here and run with it. So prepare a summary judgment motion to get us out on the damages issue!"

"Uhh sure..great. Whats this case about?"

"Well, its rather serious!! plaintiff had his ______ chopped off when he fell from a ladder at work. We have some serious heavy hitting firms on this case!"

"oh? like whom?"

"We got Wilson Elser, along with DLA Piper, Smith & Laquercia, and Sullivan Papain in the picture, just to name a few!"

"so what now?"

"Well we are going to try the case unless we get out on summary judgment, which is where YOU come in!! . Its not like we haven't won against Sullivan Papain before! and DLA must be getting in on the business, I'm surprised they are representing ____, then WEMED of course they have their hands in every little dirty case because the partners there do nothing but fight with each other for referrals"

"Oh?? What do you mean?"

"Well, I have had associates call me who left for Wilson Elser begging to come back. Unfortunately, we had already filled the job (winks at me), but seriously, you don't want to work at that firm. Its just a miserable place, the partnership structure there is something else!"

"Ohh I seee..well good thing I don't right?"

"Right on my man! So get started on this motion and leave a draft on my desk! I am going to see my grandkids in FL this weekend! It should be a nice Labor Day! Call me if you have any trouble with the motion."


So guess there goes my Labor Day.

Reason # 4 why practicing law sucks:

Your Hours are Not Your Own.


At Thursday, August 31, 2006 3:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ive heard the same about WEMED too, from attorneys currently there.

At Friday, June 12, 2009 4:08:00 PM, Blogger Jeffrey said...

What does it take to get a job at WEMED or a similar firm? Those who have jobs, no matter what firm, should not be complaining. The unemployment rate is almost as high as the great depression!

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At Tuesday, July 12, 2016 8:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think your posts are hilarious only because I am an attorney and understand them. I do not think the general public understands how slow and ridiculous the legal system is most of the time! You should become a writer and write some comedy books or scripts about the practice of law!


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